Art,art,art...

I have painted so much lately, I wonder if the ability to produce the written word has left me? So here goes...  

Some of my work is inspired by wonderful contemporary artists like Peter Max, Itzchak Tarkay, and Linda Lekinff.  I love to paint in bright beautiful colors.

On another note, they unfilled my Lap Band yesterday due to some complications with it.  It seems those banded in the year 2008, have all had similar problems according to my nurse.  I have read on the lap band forum they are discovering that the band is not permanent and may have to be removed sometime after the 5 year anniversary.  I wish I had known this 5 years ago.  My choices may have been different.  

I have to have an EGD with my gastroenterologist later this month.  No fill for at least 6 weeks.  This frightens me as I have been banded with restriction for the last 5 years.  Anyone with a weight problem is very familiar with this fear.  On the positive side (?), I finally will be able to eat a sandwich and pizza again.

Have a great Weekend

I had a 6 month checkup on Thursday with a fill of .8 in my lap band. Things are going great. She said my pouch looked great and I had lost 6 pounds since my fill last month. I am feeling the restriction when I drink or try to eat. After the appointment yesterday, I tried to drink a small vanilla milkshake, but only to get approximately a third of it down. I have been able to eat today, but just a little at a time. This is really slow weight loss, but I am told by the medical staff this is the safiest way to do it. I still am planning a cruise of Europe when I reach goal. For my short-term 25 pound loss, my reward shall be _________? I have not decided yet, but I need to come up with something to keep myself motivated. Maybe a new swimming suit for water aerobics...hmmm, I'll have to think on it. It's a lot more pleasant thinking about this than the economy!

I am howling, just like the creature in this collage! I finally got that darn scale to move down. True it is just one pound, but I have been stuck at my previous weight loss for a month. I have been so impatient and despondent, I know I would have turned back to my old ways of using food as a comfort and not trying at all anymore if it was not for this lap band. I am so thankful I have it to use as a tool to help along this journey of mine. To illustrate the point, today in 6 degree weather, I had to pick up a book I had reserved at the local library. It was so cold I told my 4 yr. old grandson I would race him to the building from the parking lot. Guess what!!! A major victory in my health and stamina--I actually kept up with him and may have been able to pass him if I had not wanted to let him win. What a difference 6 months makes. I would not even have attempted it in the past. I just want to let everyone know, although the scales have not been moving downward as fast as I would like, this surgery was so worth it! I praise the heavens above and all therein...

Lap Band Update

Copied from Obesityhelp.com:

BeverlyDianne's Blog

Dates of Events for Lap Band
Total weight loss as of today: 55 lbs.

Team: Surgeon, Dr. Edwards; Psych, Katie; Coordinator, Mary; Dietitian, Susan; Exercise, Amy; Fills, Wendy (always with a scope)

Seminar - 5-12-08
1st Consult - 6-03-08
Psych Eval - 6-03-08
Test results - 6-10-08
Exercise rehab - 6-12-08
Dietary Cons - 6-20-08
Behavioral Hlth - 6-23-08
2nd surgery consult - 7-10-08 with pre-admission to hospital
7-14-08 -pre-op diet started
Surgery - 7-28-08 lap band and gall bladder removal
Surgical recheck -8-05-08
2nd nutrition class - 8-25-08
Recheck and 1st fill - 9-10-08
2nd exercise class and 2nd fill - 9-23-08
3 mth recheck and 3rd fill - 10-28-08
4th fill - 12-30-08
Scheduled for 6mth recheck on 1-29-09

As you can see, this is an expensive and timely process. I was/am self-pay and have a 100 mile round trip to the facility. I can only pray this will be a motivating factor in keeping me on the program and help my new lifestyle to become a healthy habit. The holiday season was very hard and the best I could do was to maintain. Although I am disappointed I did not lose, I am resolved to begin afresh and have a good number for my 6 month recheck at the end of this month. I am feeling a lot more restriction with my 4th fill and hope my "sweet spot" will soon be reached. I also am resolved to do more exercise, but I still am not ready to make friends with that "dreadmill." I am keeping it around as a threat to myself if I do not step it up this month ;) Till later...

I want to soar...

I had my 3 month checkup with my PCP today and received an excellent report! She said to keep up the good work. Yeah me!

Health is my expected heaven.

John Keats

1795-1821, British Poet

Lap Band Update

I am doing well...
Copied from Obesityhelp.com

My weight loss is slow but steady. I am so happy I had this surgery. I know I do not write about the lap band often, but I still have problems quieting the inner critic about this whole dilemma and find I do not always have the words to share to describe my feelings. No one likes to admit their faults, and for some reason I still blame myself for my inability to lose weight and keep it off. Okay, enough beating myself up and wallowing in a pity party. The good news: I have now lost a total of 55 lbs. and this is a lot better than having to worry about gaining during the holiday season and making a New Year resolution and breaking it the very next day! I have had three fills and do not think I need another for a while. I usually do not feel hungry and eat because of head hunger. I do PB if I eat too fast or do not chew well enough or do not stop when I feel the pressure start in my chest. This is not a pleasant experience and is really gross. I still mourn my old friend "food" and find going out to eat not all that pleasurable anymore. I have tried to replace my favorite past time with other things, some successful and others not so. I find I truly enjoy polyvore.com, water colors, knitting and, of course, reading. I keep very busy doing the things I enjoy which include keeping up with the lives of my grandchildren. I look forward with great anticipation to taking several trips with family. One is a long weekend to Myrtle Beach in February and the other a cruise in June. I found I even enjoyed shopping in Atlanta over the Thanksgiving Holiday! I had almost gone entirely to internet shopping due to problems walking. Now, due to the weight loss, I can take long walks again. I am greatly blessed. Till later...

Today was my three month check up since lap band surgery. Yeah me! I am doing well and am right on track with my weight loss. It is unbelievable how much better I feel, both mentally and physically. I now how almost 6cc in a 10cc band. I should be hitting my "sweet spot" soon. They injected 1.3cc today and said I was showing good restriction on the fluroscope. I am so blessed to have this life saving tool to help me attain a healthy weight.

A stroll on the beach...

polyvore.com

This is what I want to be doing today...taking a stroll on a beach somewhere exotic. I am having so much trouble eating since I had my second fill that I feel truly frustrated and want to eat nothing! (I know that is a real switch from the past where I wanted to eat everything!) The trouble is when I take a few bites of food I feel like I have swallowed a horse pill that has lodged in the middle of my chest. This causes coughing which eventually brings up that offending "horse pill." I am going to go on liquids for a few days then try soft foods before eating regular foods again. If this does not work then I will have to call my surgeon and I might have to have some of the fill removed. This seems so wrong. Most people have to have at least four fills before they have restriction, and I get it with two fills! The beach, that is where I want to be. Away from all talk of food, diets, weight loss, fills, eating and dr. offices!

Lap Band --continued success

polyvore.com

Second Fill

Yeah! My second fill was yesterday and I had lost 6 lbs from two weeks ago when I had my first fill. I am right on track for weight loss and the date of my cruise. I want to be able to go to the White House|Black Market and buy something special for formal night on the cruise without looking ridiculous in it. Also, I had an appt with my exercise therapist and she was so pleased that I had already lost 4% body fat at this early stage in the plan. She said that was very unusual and congratulated me. She seemed to be surprised at the speed at which I walked the track and asked if I always walked this fast. I told her my spouse was 6'2" and if you didn't want to be left behind you learned to keep up. (lol) So, I had a really good day and thank God for this wonderful tool that is saving my life. I do not have to go back for a month since I have fairly good restriction and continue to lose weight. My health continues to improve and I feel so blessed! --copied from Obesityhelp.com

Nice Ride

What a nice ride this lap band journey has been so far. I had my first fill today and it was painless. The room was new, very sterile, and clean. It was done under fluroscopy which was fascinating to me. I watched the screen as she inserted the needle and put 3cc in my 10cc band. She said all looked fine and scheduled me to come back in two weeks. I was told my weight loss is excellent given my age and that I am basically still losing it all on my own as I do not have restriction yet. Yeah me! I am so looking forward to that cruise.

I could eat a horse!

1953 --Me Starving

I have been starving. I do not have my first fill until the 10th and today has been a really bad day. Some days I am able to handle it, but today was not one of them. I am trying to stick to proteins when I want something extra as that seems to satisfy me the most. With restriction from the fill do you continue to get this hungry? I feel so discouraged today. Copied from Lapbandtalk.com

To Eat...

Fairness

Why is
it
that some
people
can
eat
and
eat
and
eat
and
eat
and
eat
and
still see their feet?

While others, you see, can
just
take
a whiff,
a sniff,
just a
nibble,
a dribble,
a sample
for example,
or only a smell,
and their stomachs
swell and swell and swell!

--Composed by ShadowMist

Stuck...

Copied from Lapbandtalk.com

I got stuck on whole wheat toast Sat. afternoon. I had a bite in my mouth (too big) when the phone rang. I hurriedly swallowed so I could answer the phone when it happened. My chest hurt like I was having a heart attack. I was running around in circles beating on my chest and raising my arms up and down and the d..... phone kept ringing and ringing. My DH ran in and didn't have a clue except to think I had lost my mind. Finally I started coughing and gathered myself to the nearest disposal. Up it came and most of the pressure was relieved, but I won't be eating toast for a long while. Lesson learned.
__________________

Copied from Lapbandtalk.com

Mushies:

Good Morning Butterflies, The best meal I have had since going off mushies is fresh peeled tomatoes stuffed with cottage cheese and tuna. Yummmm! I still have trouble with some real food, like peanut butter, triscuits, and chicken (I only like the white meat.) Still, I am finding plenty of other things to eat. I made the mistake of weighing today and found I had not lost any more, but I had not gained either. Now I am waiting for restriction, impatiently of course!I am 17 days post-op. At this point in any other diet, with no weight lost and real hunger returning, I would be giving up and letting the ravenous wolf inside me devour all. It is hard, but with the hope of proper restriction dangling before me, I know I can hang on (with teeth gritted.) Hope all of you are doing okay.
__________________

Calling all Butterflies

Written on LapBandTalk.com

July Butterflies Master Thread: Ready to spread their wings and fly...

I am to start "real food" tomorrow, so I thought I would give it a little test drive today. I had scrambled eggs, grits, and crispy bacon, very small portions, bites, and I chewed, chewed, chewed. It tasted so gooooood in the mouth, but my pouch said no, no, noooooo.

I believe it was probably the bacon. I had lots of pressure in the middle of the sternum, no PBs, but the pain was enough that I'm having protein drinks tonight and mushies tomorrow! My DH is traveling for business a few days and I want to risk nothing while he is gone, even tho my DD is close by. This is certainly a new ride, but it still is one I am glad I got on! I hope the rest of you butterflies are doing well on your progressive diets.

It's Here!

Tomorrow is the day and I feel strangely calm. After Monday I will be a recovering food addict. No longer will I be able to graze endlessly. Now it will be small bites and time in between. No drinking with meals. Protein first, followed by vegetables, and then fruit or a carb. The small pouch will only hold 1/2 cup. This is amazing. I will be able to taste wonderful gourmet food, but not overeat. I can choose good, high quality nutrition to feed my body and soul and I will have control of it; it will no longer have control over me. Wonderful! I can actually do it in this lifetime...be skinny, taste wonderful cuisine, and participate in the outside world. I can travel to exotic places, purchase beautiful local attire, and be able to wear it! Oh, dreams do come true.

I know you have to be proactive. You have to stretch and reach for those dreams. I will have to use this beneficial tool wisely. I must continue to exercise my body daily, eat correctly, and choose my food wisely. I vow to change and to awaken the beautiful spirit within me. I, the real me, will emerge fully transformed to engage in life. I will not waste this second chance, a grace of God. Shalom, Peace be still.

This is our third day in Branson. It was 97* outside today but we put in a full day of shopping all the outlet malls and Branson Landing. My DS and family went to Sliver Dollar City to ride the roller coasters and water rides. I went inside the Black White Market and looked at all the garments I might be able to wear on our Caribbean cruise next summer. Yeah, party time, I also purchased some PJs that look presentable enough to wear to and from the hospital on the 28th. With that being said, I am ready to get this show on the road. I am DONE with the liquid diet. The thought even gags me, I want to be banded YESTERDAY, and on the other side recovery nicely.

We are going to Branson tomorrow with my DH, DS, DDIL, and 2 DGS. Time is going very quickly now and I know the 28th will be here before I know it. My DS asked if we would like to go on a cruise with them next summer to celebrate their 10th anniversary. Of course I said to count us in! Then it occurred to me, Oh my, I might even actually be a lot thinner. How much more enjoyable it will be. I am so glad I have this option available to me. I remember other vacations where I made great plans to lose weight before leaving, but it never seemed to happen. It would color my whole vacation with "if only's." I think how sad that seems to live life with such regrets. How much better it would be to live each moment fully present in that particular moment. How delightful to be fully engaged. I vow to start now, to create a new beginning, where I am slowly emerging into my authentic self, changing, fully human, and transformed...a child of God and full of His grace.

Happy Camper...I have found a few things I like on this full liquid diet. I love low-sodium V-8 juice with Jay Robb unflavored protein powder, SF FF Jello Pudding, and some soups. Perhaps I will be able to tolerant this for a few more weeks! Why is it though when you are trying to do something good for yourself obstacles are thrown at you to make it harder? My son and family are coming this weekend and we are going to Branson. Now Branson has wonderful restaurants and everyone will be eating, but I, and again I say, but I, will be drinking/sipping full liquids for all three meals. Yikes! How did that happen? Who in the world scheduled my surgery the day after my DS and family return home? I know...I know...life is never fair or easy, but, Oh!, it can have such moments of joy and beauty. In fact, I say to myself, that is exactly why I am having this surgery...to remain here and enjoy all life has to offer a little longer. I am so blessed.